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This piece was selected as one of the winners of the AAA’s AnthroDay Student Unessay Competition. This year’s competition was inspired by the Annual Meeting theme, “On the Verge.”
My dish hesitated in my hand, unsure,
Eggplant slick along its side, sliding slow;
The cafeteria, spice-mix, an unknown blur,
Items jumbled with nowhere left to go.
Trays clattered, friends took their seats,
A mingled chorus of plates and forks;
I felt my heartbeat skip tiny beats,
Caught between the rules and quiet works.
Steel chairs scraped, the laughter rang,
Soy sauce and cumin filled the crowded room;
Samosas split, their spices sang,
Dumplings pleated, sealed in gentle bloom.
Steam curled from dumplings in neat little rows,
Samosas gleamed with golden spice;
I watched my classmates, their laughter flows,
Each bite a small leap, a silent slice.
A roasted chickpea rolled, mocking my grip,
Slid sideways, eluding my aim;
My pulse betrayed the tightrope tip,
This bite was not the same.
My thoughts urged forward, tense and bright,
Voices weaving, high and low;
Yet still my fork refused to take flight,
Caught in hesitation’s quiet glow.
Could I trust what my mouth might show?
Or would betrayal arrive if I tried to translate?
In rooms where differences quietly grow,
Disgust can flicker, sharp and late.
Time thickened, only for a flare,
Though chatter carried on its way;
So there it lingered, trembling in air,
Still untouched, still questioning its stay.
My tongue felt heavy, tense, unsure;
My jaw rehearsed composure’s art;
To swallow wrong is to endure,
A fragile exposure of the cautious heart.
The fork hovered just above the plate,
Between the known and almost mine;
A border balanced, small but great,
Drawn thin as oil in perfect line.
Testing flavors of cultures right and true,
Across seas, through kitchens, through memory;
Each bite a story, quiet but new,
Demanding small remedy.
Each bite taken with a small kind of trust,
A way to journey, through unknown and new;
The flavors remind, though walls may crust,
That table waits for me, and for you.
Each moment paused, each hesitation felt,
Mapping a path through trust and fear;
Forks brushed, laughter carried where edges melt,
And joining grew as I drew near.
Belonging isn’t loud or grand;
It lives in moments slight and spare;
At the edge of the bite I understand:
Sometimes just act before thoughts declare.
Trust pressed softly past hesitation,
Though uncertainty’s thin veil;
Not loud with sudden proclamation,
But steady where small acts prevail.
And yet I knew, at the verge,
Eating something new is learning to fit right;
A small act of growing and joining, I now emerge,
Of saying, “I am here, too,” in light.
Warm air carried scents both sharp and sweet,
Every nerve alive, each sense awake;
The pause stretched thin between bite and seat,
A fragile edge no courage could forsake.
Who else has balanced on this line,
Between what’s foreign and what fits?
Where customs draw their faint design,
And courage tightens at their limits.
A second thinned; the fork still hovered,
Eggplant gleaming, chickpeas bright;
In that small pause, my courage uncovered
A world made wider by one bite.